Thoughts.
I know I should not complain. But right now I´m not happy. I have regrets. There is so much I want to do, and even more that I should do, I have to do. I just wish there were a better way, some other way. So I can have it all, everything I want. But there is no easy way. There is only different ways, many ways. And I have no idea what i should choose. I don´t know what way that will make me happy, the best way. How do you know that?
What makes me happy?
I don´t think that people understand me. They don´t know me. Thats all my fault anyway,
I´m not the best friend you can have. I push people away, just to see if they stay, that´s something I realised for just some months ago. I do it, only because I don´t have a big self-esteem, to protect me from being hurt. Instead I hurt people I really like and care about, and I also hurt myself, because people just don´t stay forever. How do you tell these people this? Well, you don´t put it on your blog that like 5 people read, that´s one thing for sure.
But if you read this, I´m sorry. I really am. I wish I could turn back time.
Anyway, the path that I am on now is someone I never would have picked all by myself. That is all thanks to my boyfriend, one of the people who stayed. I´m in Uppsala, I have a job that I really think is going to be awesome and also is going to help me so much. I´ve chosen a program that I never would have thougt of if I was still at home, a program that also will bring me so much. At least that´s what I hope.
Because in the end that´s all you have, hope.
And, although life may lead you where you least expect,
you can always have faith in it´s where you are meant to be.
Kommentarer
Postat av: sofia
you should come to kunming, it makes everyone happy, trust me, just come and we'll have an awesome time, i miss you sweets, why am i writing in english :O:O talk to you soon, be online on skype more often! xoxo
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